Numeral uno

I post an excessive amount of blogs since most of my life is spent in front of a computer so I decided to create my own little world where I can blog away. I hope some one eventually ends up reading this display of sick humor and witticism which is sure to come. Anyways thanks for stopping by, really. So to kick it off, I’m going to share w/ you some of the random thoughts going off in my head right now so you can see how sick and twisted I really am..

1.) If I’m on a plane with my head phones on and you’re trying to talk to me and I don’t respond, it probably means I don’t want to talk to you
2.) I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, this really is no big secret. So why is it impossible for my parents to keep all three ingredients in their house at one time? They always have two and lack the third. Mom and Dad… please fix this immediately.
3.) If I don’t want to do something, from now on I won’t do it… well unless I absofuckinglutely have to…
4.) One day I’m going to resort to a life of nothing but beach bumming and reading Hemingway while drinking scotch.
5.) In regards to number 1… Always give it a couple seconds and try again. I might be lost in my own thoughts with some serious volume on my head phones. I might not have heard you. I am human and prone to mistakes after all.. but after attempt number 2 you should have your answer.
6.) Don’t drive w/ your blinker on… it’s really annoying
7.) If you can’t drive at a reasonable speed don’t drive period… even better
8.) (note to self) you cannot conquer the world with intellect and intelligence these days. Only by stupid displays of materialism and by acting like a douche bag to make people idolize you….. is that what you really want?... no didn’t think so
9) Being a pretty articulate person, I am finding it increasingly impossible to talk to people who can’t speak in words longer than two syllables. I probably shouldn’t have kids.
10.) eh okay I’m done.