The Great Let Down... on repeat. A letter to myself.

Dear Self,

Why oh why do you put yourself through the same torture again and again? It always ends the same. You go weeks without talking to him and realize now that he’s not on your mind he probably didn’t mean that much to you anyways. Then after weeks of mutual silence he calls, you ignore, you break down and call him back later. He sweet talks you, makes you feel like one of a kind and that he adores you. You make date, date comes, he blows you off. Wash, rinse, repeat.

One would think I would have learned my lesson 5 years ago. And trust me I did.. I really did. I walked away and left that bridge ablaze. I didn’t care what I was burning. I was rising from the ashes like a Phoenix. So, WTF am I doing now (besides being stupid expecting a different outcome.) Granted, I’ve been in worse relationships, but I’ve never loved anyone as much or as deeply. That just doesn’t go away.

 I had 5 years of peace without being reminded, but all that has ended. Now I feel like my feelings are yet again someone’s games. Roping me in, just to let me down. So I’m writing this to tell you to STOP. Stop giving in, stop calling back and stop being STUPID! If he really wanted to see you, he wouldn’t blow you off every single time.. last minute none the less. Or they would at least have the decency to tell you that you were being blown off if you meant anything at all to them. So… I’m begging you SELF.. Just stop. Just let it go for good this time. Don’t turn back. You leave people in your past for a reason. Let them stay there. You have such a bright future ahead of yourself and if people want to be there for you, THEY WILL BE. You won’t have to ask or beg them to be there and they won’t CONSTANTLY let you down. Now cheer up butter cup. In the words of the great Jay-Z it’s “on to the next one.”

Sincerely, Your Biggest Fan,

Lacey

Ish just got real...

Nothing quite like a broken ankle, a late night, irritation over people and their ridiculousness and crazy world events I feel passionate about to stir up a new blog post.

I've got one brewing that's very deep and thought out for Boston, but I'm waiting until I have all the right words to post it. So without further ado I would like to discuss one of my current irritations: fake friends and their ridiculous, irrational actions.

First off, if anyone doesn't want to be my friends at this point in my life, I could absolutely care less! I have enough REAL friends in my life that make up in quality where quantity might be lacking. The older I get, the more important I find said quality to be. With that being said, if one wants to bash me, defriend me or act stupid about a situation they perceive (which they are probably completely off base with) then that's fine by me. I promise my feelings won't be hurt at all.

Maybe I'm off base here, but I feel like I'm  a pretty cool , easy going chick who doesn't betray her friends. I am nice to a fault. So for someone to attempt to stir up drama for no reason other than not liking my choice of friends, I can totally do without people like that in my life. I think I have some of the coolest chicks (and dudes) in my life already.

I just don't get what it is with some people and their constant need for attention and drama. Same goes for the people who think the world will end if they go one month without being in a relationship. I get wanting attention. I'm an attention whore. That's why I learned to have wit and be funny... not cause drama. And I get that no one wants to be lonely but if you need someone else to validate or complete you, its probably because you're not happy with yourself. Just sayin' Anywho... that's my blog for tonight. Time for more pain meds and hopefully sleep and of course catching up on some of my fave blogs from friends in the process. Bon Nuit Mon amie.