Manifesto

Tonight a thought crossed my mind while watching TV. More specifically, while watching the Obama speech from the Democratic Convention that I never got around to watching until tonight. Watching an ordinary man who beat the odds and came so far as to have the presidential seat in his hands, I realized a few things about myself. I want to be extraordinary, if not by society’s standards then by my own. I have very high expectations of myself and I want to live up to them. I have always been very ordinary, and that’s not for me. I won’t be unoriginal. Unoriginal and conventional never got anyone too far. This doesn’t mean I want to wear a lime green dress at an all white party. I have no desire to “stand out in a crowd”. I want to stand out to myself. I want to be the best and most successful person i can be but you can't be so without confidence and a feeling of self sufficiency. I refuse to be the person I saw starring back in the mirror a year ago, that girl who was a victim of her own trappings with no self-esteem and a complete lack of direction. A girl who didn’t know who she was or where she was going, I was trapped inside my own head of negative thoughts and seemingly no way out. I felt as though I would be that person forever feeling incomplete and insignificant. I will admit however, sometimes I still get down on myself. Sometimes I still make the wrong decisions and take the wrong path forgetting what I really want of myself, but I always get it back. I never want to be in a situation again where I feel like I’m trapped between four walls with no doorway to get out whether that be a relationship or the prison of my own mind. I’m a new girl now. I look at myself now and I see a familiarity looking back, I recognize that girl in the mirror. I see direction in her. I see happiness in her. I see a bright future and the woman that she will become. I can’t say I have this absolute direction like I know EXACTLY where I’m going and EXACTLY how I’m going to get there, but I see myself determined to follow my heart, and that’s all that really counts, right? I have no clue what I want to “be when I grow up” so to speak, but I know I want to finish my college education. Whether I end up with a Ph. D in Philosophy teaching at a University, or go to law school and fight/defend criminals or do corporate law, or end up in upper level management of some government contracting company, I will at least live up to my standards of extraordinary. . Some may say that is insignificant but I think that is about the most significant thing you can do with your life. I do know one thing, I will always be extraordinary in the work I do to give back to causes I believe in. I will always do everything I can, no matter how big or small it maybe to help out charitable causes. You can just feel the change happening when you get involved in something for a good cause. You feel as if you made a difference. I will always try to be a lover and not a fighter, but damn it, I will fight for that which I love. That’s what it takes to be extraordinary, and that I will be.